Alfred enters the room, his eyes are alert, his smiling face open and receptive – good manners, well spoken and engaging.
It’s hard to imagine the life he’s led, the challenges he’s faced and the ongoing issues he deals with every day of his life.
As a young child, Alfred feared his father for good reason, often finding himself the punching bag for this abusive alcoholic. Between his step-mother and himself, it was a breeding ground for anxiety and other mental trauma that left them scarred for life, both mentally and physically.
Alfred loves the woman who raised him (his biological mother died, as a result of her addictions, when Alfred was four) and knew she cared very deeply for him. She left his father many times but kept coming back because of Alfred.
“She was my rock,” he said.
But Alfred knew he had to get out.
At 15, Alfred escaped the nightmare and ran away to his sister’s home in Prince George. He was already smoking cigarettes, drinking coffee and doing the occasional marijuana. A brief return to school and Alfred was off again, this time landing in Whitehorse.
He was using alcohol and drugs to cope with his chronic physical and, as yet undiagnosed, mental pain.
“I was a functioning addict,” he admitted.
He said lots of family members, including his stepmother, were concerned about what he was doing.
At this time the bi-polar symptoms were beginning to surface. Alfred learned his birth mother also suffered from mental health issues and coped with life through an alcoholic haze.
“None of the family knew how to cope properly,” he said.
“At that time I had a bad attitude. I didn’t let anyone intimidate me. I was having trouble with the public; I was stressed out and withdrawn. But inside I had such anxiety.”
A brief run-in with his father at the age of 17 earned Alfred an apology from his former abuser. His dad had also been the product of an abusive father.
“The cycle of abuse keeps going,” he said.
By 18, he was living with another sister who was using cocaine and she was the first to put a needle in Alfred’s arm, injecting the drugs that would soon take over his life.
“I started abusing everything I could get my hands on – acid, cocaine, MDA, speed, crystal meth, pills and alcohol,” he said.
“My sister had a recipe to make acid so there were lots of 100 pills in my freezer at any given time; it was very accessible.”
By 24, Alfred was deep into addictions, his mental health was poor and he’d spent time in jail.
However, that was also a turning point for Alfred. He began to make the connection between his childhood trauma and the damage he was suffering from in his adult life.
“Counselling and many good people took the time to help me,” he said.
“Doctors appointments and counselling were everyday occurrences for me.”
Six years later, Alfred was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, post traumatic stress disorder and was still battling additions.
Today, at 41, Alfred is proud to say he’s drug free (other than his prescription drugs which are closely monitors by his doctor.)
He still deals with chronic pain and his mental health issues but staying as healthy as possible is very important to him.
“I don’t want the Quesst Unit [psychiatric unit] to become my permanent address,” he said with a laugh.
In the last five years, Alfred is pleased to report he’s only had one manic episode.
Over the years, he spoke of the mistreatment and abuse he’s
experienced with medical staff, service providers and the public.
“People need training to cope with people with substance abuse and mental health issues,” he said.
“Mental health issues are serious and the people who suffer with them don’t want to act the way they do. People in manic states have minds that are going so fast, even the simplest tasks are difficult.”
Alfred said he’s experienced intimidation, taunting, yelling, belittling and other humiliating treatment at the hands of insensitive nurses and that’s just not helpful.
“A little consideration can be what helps the person, just a little bit of caring can go a long way,” Alfred said.
He added sometimes it’s as simple as ensuring they’re on their meds.
Alfred will always deal with chronic pain resulting from childhood beatings and some choices as he entered adulthood (he could be facing surgery) and of course his regime of prescribed medications.
But he also has plans to go back to school. He’d like to work with people with disabilities.
He already gets tremendous satisfaction from helping friends who aren’t as lucky as he is.
“I’m now a functional person who helps other people in society everywhere the opportunity presents itself,” he proudly admitted.
Every day, Alfred works to remain stable, to minimize the stress in his life and to manage and cope effectively.
“The general public shouldn’t be afraid to just say hi,” he said with a smile.
“Try to understand and communicate. Be willing to learn about mental health and substance abuse issues.”