Week 5 in the Correlieu Secondary School intramural floor hockey season started with an offensive bounce-back from the Icemen in front of a backup goalie; more smooth, sporting play from a classy Silky Salmons squad; a solid team win for the Nordiques, and a little comeuppance for the dastardly Meatheads.
*Apologies to the Paper Back Writer (Steve Dodge) for mowing his lawn with this week’s nicknames.
Game One: High Noon, Wednesday, Feb. 27
Silky Salmons 13 – Icemen 8
Before a crowd of 30 chilly fans, the Icemen played for pride in a tough loss, while the Silky Salmons showed class all the way in a comfortable win.
Bouncing back from a disappointing game versus the 8%, the Icemen found their offensive groove once again against a talented Silky Salmons club.
Paced by five tallies from Austin Podger and a hat-trick return to the scoresheet from Trey Lightening, the Icemen attack looked as good as it has all season.
Pressed into emergency ‘tending duties in the absence of regular goalie Sam Goulet, Devon Crocker made several outstanding saves to keep the Icemen in the game.
Still, the Silky Salmons were just too strong for the valiant Icemen. True to their name, the fish simply moved the ball too well, too quickly and too deftly for the Icemen.
Taking an early lead, the Silky Salmons casually turned aside the furious attempts by Podger and Lightening to get the Icemen back in the game.
Justin Salmons was strong in his own end all game. Many an Icemen rush was stymied by Salmons’s cool play in the neutral zone.
Diego Ferreira led the way offensively for the Silky Salmons, though offensive statistics often become urban legends before the final whistle has even blown.
Suddenly, five or six players all claimed multi-goal games – despite the impossibility of their calculations.
It was all in fun, though, and the Silky Salmons did nothing to diminish their claims to the coveted most sportsmanlike team trophy.
Game Two: High Noon, Thursday, Feb. 28
Nordiques 5 – Meatheads 4
“Wake up the little ones, ma — we got a good one here” seems like the best introduction to one heck of a good game featuring the league villain Meatheads and the Old Gun Nordiques in front of 40 or so passionate CSS flockey fans.
Most Nordiques are all old enough to remember Dean Youngblood getting levelled by tough guy Carl Racki in the less-than-classic Rob Lowe vehicle Youngblood, though the Meatheads will likely need to find it on Netflix.
For the Nordiques, this was the day they would discover whether they were Youngblood or Racki in this tenuously stretched metaphor.
Following the movie credo — “The ice… the fire… the fight… to be the best” — the Nordiques stood their ground and refused to be intimidated by the Broad Street Meatheads.
To stand up to the punishing style of Tim McCracken, Ogie Ogelthorpe and the other Meatheads, the Nordiques brought in their own policeman, Josh “Night Stick” Nutley.
Fred “the Fixer” Rogger staked the Nordiques to an early 2-0 lead with a pair of top-of-the-crease vulture specials, which was no easy feat, as Meatheads goalie Jesse Schonke was dynamite throughout the game.
A pair of seeing-eye beauties from the point by Dyson “Cordless” Leneve and a tap-in on a sloppy Rob “Suitcase” Biller rebound by “Spinner” Spencer Dent had the Meatheads poised to play Racki to the Nordiques’ Youngblood.
However, unlike Lowe’s Youngblood, the Nordiques refused to stay down.
Though Leneve was certain he’d stretched the lead with another blast from the high slot, the game official Jim “Have Another Doughnut” Sagert ruled the ball had struck iron and not twine.
Goals by Jay “Slayer” McDowell and Craig “Animal” Kitamura balanced a Meathead tally from Riley Hansen “Brother” to knot the game at four going into the final two minutes.
Under furious pressure, Suitcase held the fort long enough for Martin “G” Runge to bury the winner behind a sprawling Schonke.
Troy “Dana Murzyn Hockey School” Moore, “Handy” Andy Closkey, and Brooke “Boots” Kishkan all played well in the Nordiques’ zone.
For this game at least, the “Old Blood” Nordiques enjoyed being Racki and not Youngblood.
Observer contributor Rob Biller is an English teacher at Correlieu Secondary School who enjoys chirping his students while wearing goalie pads.