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Paintocalypse Now: A dispatch from the front lines

In an effort to raise funds for Big Brothers, Big Sisters, Mayor Sjostrom and Council members competed at Northern Strike Paintball.


The forest was quiet as we gathered around Peter Bond to hear the plan for transporting Mayor Sjostrom through the trees to safety. The trees wouldn't stay still long, but that was in the future and we were concentrated on making sure everyone knew the plan.

It was my job to document the daring rescue that Bond had planned, but the others, they were there to make sure Sjostrom made it through  combat paint-free to raise money for Big Brother, Big Sisters.

Laurey-Anne Roodenburg and Mike Cave from city council had brought along minions and volunteers in an effort to take down the mayor.

Bond, however, was having none of it.

"I will do anything to protect her," Bond said.

In a quick bit of thinking, the camouflage meant for Sjostrom went on one of the female soldiers on her team to act as a decoy while Bond and another soldier stayed back and protected the mayor.

The Bodyguards were relaxed for the first few minutes, as the frontrunners spread out before the mayor to flush out any enemies before they could get within sight of the mayor.

Bond was taking no chances, having promised both the mayor and everyone on the team, he would do anything to make sure Sjostrom made it through to the end.

Slowly, Sjostrom and Bond crept up behind the team.

Tension filled the air as we waited for the first paintballs to slice through the air and find their targets.

The first few fire fights sprang up far in front of us. Bond was loose and relaxed, confident of his abilities and not worried by the hiss of paintballs sounding in front of us. Sjostrom was a little more cautious, being that she's never seen the battlefield before, but the last line of defense for Sjostrom was still far enough away from the action they were walking upright and unworried.

On the front lines, things were starting to heat up. Enemy fire was coming fast. The forerunners had come up against an opposing team that was firmly ensconced in a trench and a small wooden bunker from which they rained down a veritable rainbow of paintballs.

Bond quickly spirited Sjostrom past the action and into a trench where he made sure no one got close.

Up in the front, everything was confusion. Balls of brightly coloured paint sang through the summer air. The protectors were flat on their stomachs in the brush or pinned down behind trees, waiting for a brief respite in the paintballs before sticking out their heads, and guns, to fire at the enemy and bring another round of paintballs their way.

Half of the front runners got separated from the main group and went wandering through the bush, engaging with other groups until, one by one, they were picked off like gazelles.

Back at the trench, Bond was getting impatient. Worried that attrition would take it's toll, leaving the enemy, with its greater numbers, with the advantage, Bond was determined to move forward.

Seeing no other way, Bond commandeered the side-by-sides that were on the battlefield at paintball-point and hustled Sjostrom and a couple of extra soldiers into two of the machines and tore off down the trails, passing within shooting distance of the small fortress.

With the final sprint in action the sound of paintballs leaving barrels and whizzing through the air was all that could be heard.

In the excitement of the action, Sjostrom shot the inside of her own vehicle, spraying herself and Bond with paint; the only paint she would wear.

One of the enemy, perhaps anticipating the maneuver, had placed a barricade of branches in the trail, requiring the caravan to stop to clear the road.

This cost the caravan a few brave soldiers, their once-drab, camouflaged clothes now spattered with bright yellow paint.

Thinking themselves home free, Bond and what was left of the team powered on as paintballs whisked by or splattered on the rear of the vehicle.

They were wrong though, another barrier stood in their way and the other teams were closing in. With no time to clear this newest barrier Sjostrom and Bond had to run the final leg, their teammates splattered with paint at nearly every turning.

Despite the paintball-filled air, Sjostrom and Bond made it through.

At the end, with the the sound of laughter as survivors and the paint-splattered casualties filtering to the gathering area, and gathering together to relay stories and eat hamburgers, Sjostrom was still pumped on adrenalin.

"It was awesome," she said.

She was happy with the ecologically-friendly tact the paintball club had taken developing the land (the area is still in pristine condition) as well as dumbfounded by the amount of work the club had put into

preparing it for battle.



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