The Correlieu Secondary School staff Nordiques team has emerged as the league villain after two weeks of floor hockey play. (Photo submitted)

Win establishes Nordiques as league villains

In Week 2 of Quesnel high school floor hockey, Narwhals, Nordiques and Leftovers earned victories

Rob “The Fresh Prince of Bill-Air” Biller

Observer Contributor

Week two of the CSS intramural floor hockey saw eventful games, loads of controversy and the emergence of a league villain … the Nordiques.

High Noon, Tuesday, Feb. 4

Narwhals 1 – NHL Riley’s Rangers 0

A large and boisterous crowd (easily bigger than Woodstock, according to Kellyanne Conway) was disappointed by the inability of the newly-renamed “Riley’s Rangers” to field a full squad. Shocked that jeans and work-boots were not acceptable athletic attire, the Rangers were forced to take a default loss and reorganize gym strip, running shoes and players for their next tilt. We can only hope that the mighty Narwhal squad isn’t hurt in the final standings by a paltry 1-0 default victory.

High Noon, Wednesday, Feb. 5

Leftovers 12 – Lucky Pucks 2

Mid-week saw a crowd beyond the powers of mortal estimation (or at least an English teacher’s math skills) gathered, in hopes of an upset victory by the 0-1 Lucky Pucks squad. Those dreams were dashed early and decisively by a hard-charging Leftovers squad led by the likes of Mike “From Canmore” Devito, Shawn “of the Dead” Fisher and Alex “P. Keaton” Falloon. Jacob “Two Wrongs Don’t Make a” Wright was stellar for the Leftovers, not only holding onto a shutout late into the game, but also stickhandling into goalie infamy by potting himself a goal. Wright popped one in his own goal for good measure and gave up a beauty to Lauren “Don’t Live in the” Pastachak on a penalty shot. No shutout, but an eventful game for Wright for sure. Playing well for the all-ladies squad were Ally “Baba” Fulton and Amelia “Earhart” Musselman, despite the one-sided score.

High Noon, Thursday, Feb. 6

Nordiques 3 – Leftovers 1

An unruly crowd — some mutated hybrid of the Black Hole and the Dawg Pound — was primed for what turned into the game of the week. The mystery around the ongoing contract status of aging Nordiques play-maker Fred “Show Me the Money” Rogger deepened, as his contract holdout and sudden history of unprovable injuries stretched into a second game. The Nordiques have reportedly offered several first-round picks to a variety of teams in the hopes of unloading the bloated contract of the league’s all-time leading scorer.

The game itself established the Nordiques as this year’s league villains. Claiming “it was a perfect shot” and that there was “no collusion” with the referee, “The Fresh Prince of Bill-Air” set the tone for the game on his first shift when he whacked Shawn “of the Dead” Fisher in the schnozola with an errant follow-through. “Bill-Air” has refused further comment and retained Rudy Guliani to oversee his defence.

Ted “Round Mound of Rebound” McCart and Martin “G”Runge staked the Nordiques to a 2-0 lead, as backstop Jay “Glam Chowder” McDowell continued to stand on his head between the pipes. Only Mike “From Canmore” Devito, on a slick shot through “Glam”’s five hole, was able to beat the former lead guitarist for Big Mountain Fudge Cake. Liam “Steve” Grogan sealed the win for the Nordiques with the Leftovers’ goalie, Jacob “Two Wrongs Don’t Make a” Wright, on the bench for the extra attacker.

The game was rife with controversy, as the Leftovers received a penalty shot for some physical corner play on the part of Nordiques defender Chuck “Norris” Kramer. Mike “From Canmore” Devito was rebuked on a diving glove stop from “Glam,” and before he knew what he’d done, he dropped the bomb — the “F” bomb — in frustration. Returning the favour, goalie Jacob “Two Wrongs Don’t Make a” Wright stymied Ted “Round Mound of Rebound” McCart on the subsequent penalty shot. Fred “Have Another Doughnut” Rogger can take solace that nobody (except the “Fresh Prince” — who clearly got away with one) on either team thought much of the game he called.

READ MORE: Nordiques, Benchwarmers and Mighty Pucks get first wins of Correlieu floor hockey season



editor@quesnelobserver.com

Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

New Feb. 22 Casino Night event raises money for two Bouchie Lake societies

The Friends of Bouchie-Milburn and Bouchie Lake Watershed Stewardship societies are partnering up

North Cariboo MLA wishes provincial budget offered more support to forestry workers and small businesses

Coralee Oakes was happy to see more funding for Foundry programs, high school mental health supports

Voice for North Cariboo Seniors Feb. 20 guest speaker will speak about seniors’ care at hospital

The Quesnel-based group is also looking for volunteers to help move food products once a week

Quesnel athletes headed to B.C. Winter Games

Sixteen local athletes will compete in six different sports during the Games in Fort St. John

Rotary Club of Quesnel’s first Walk for Water coming up Feb. 21

Money raised will support the Baker Creek Enhancement Society and Roll-A-Hippo Foundation

Pipeline dispute: Tories put no-confidence motion on House of Commons agenda

Conservatives say they have no confidence in the Trudeau government to end the rail blockades

Galchenyuk nets shootout winner as Wild edge Canucks 4-3

Vancouver tied with Calgary for second spot in NHL’s Pacific Division

B.C.’s soda drink tax will help kids lose weight, improve health, says doctor

Dr. Tom Warshawski says studies show sugary drinks contribute to obesity

A&W employees in Ladysmith get all-inclusive vacation for 10 years of service

Kelly Frenchy, Katherine Aleck, and Muriel Jack are headed on all-expenses-paid vacations

B.C. mom’s complaint about ‘R word’ in children’s ministry email sparks review

In 2020, the ‘R’ word shouldn’t be used, Sue Robins says

B.C., federal ministers plead for meeting Wet’suwet’en dissidents

Scott Fraser, Carolyn Bennett says they can be in Smithers Thursday

Province shows no interest in proposed highway between Alberta and B.C.

Province says it will instead focus on expanding the Kicking Horse Canyon to four lanes

First case of COVID-19 in B.C. has fully recovered, health officer says

Three other cases are symptom-free and expected to test negative soon

Budget 2020: Weaver ‘delighted,’ minority B.C. NDP stable

Project spending soars along with B.C.’s capital debt

Most Read